is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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