she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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