i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize