Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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