Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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