smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
