His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize