Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
