Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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