this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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