Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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