I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize