I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
