i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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