The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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