you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is my gift to your gina
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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