Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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