ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize