So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
