and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
