please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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