24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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