I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
