Already got asked if we're dating
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize