well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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