I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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