just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
