At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my poor anus
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
