A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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