My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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