so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the condom got lost in my hair
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You took a bar mat shot.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
