I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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