i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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