theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
