I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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