there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
