Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
God, I missed his penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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