There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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