Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

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  (206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f
  Replies (21) Good night (1441) Bad night (741)
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  (949): View more from California

  hell yes lets make some ravioli

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  (949): hell yes lets make some ravioli http://tfl.nu/0xmr
  Replies (9) Good night (2328) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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  (305): We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction. http://tfl.nu/e3vr
  Replies (33) Good night (843) Bad night (5604)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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  (865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz
  Replies (21) Good night (5817) Bad night (779)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."

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  (507): The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older." http://tfl.nu/7qja
  Replies (8) Good night (4087) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15443) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

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  (641): is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink. http://tfl.nu/upl9
  Replies (29) Good night (4746) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.

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  (954): I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people. http://tfl.nu/j7bv
  Replies (10) Good night (1800) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.

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  (574): I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today. http://tfl.nu/7783
  Replies (13) Good night (864) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (586) Bad night (2002)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me

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  (903): So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/8jt8
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend

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  (910): I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend http://tfl.nu/p2pa
  Replies (13) Good night (1058) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak

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  (516): He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak http://tfl.nu/keew
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.

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  (215): Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit. http://tfl.nu/8h56
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint

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  (503): U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint http://tfl.nu/psor
  Replies (0) Good night (907) Bad night (347)

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