Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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  (952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9
  Replies (98) Good night (3691) Bad night (699)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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  (509): My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that? (541): It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you. http://tfl.nu/ntpo
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (2408)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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  (832): moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone http://tfl.nu/qe9x
  Replies (13) Good night (3151) Bad night (1302)
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  (716): View more from New York

  can you take me to a tanning bed

  (1-716): View more from New York

  sure, why though?

  (716): View more from New York

  i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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  (716): can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious http://tfl.nu/lgox
  Replies (31) Good night (540) Bad night (6316)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love

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  (561): I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love http://tfl.nu/jtcg
  Replies (15) Good night (1200) Bad night (3592)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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  (727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33
  Replies (39) Good night (5499) Bad night (912)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

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  (252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq
  Replies (16) Good night (7266) Bad night (961)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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  (484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my
  Replies (18) Good night (743) Bad night (3891)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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  (918): this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun" http://tfl.nu/d07w
  Replies (16) Good night (3592) Bad night (1034)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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  (216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2000) Bad night (756)
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  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

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  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1650) Bad night (570)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend

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  (254): I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend http://tfl.nu/xabf
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (853)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.

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  (412): You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am. http://tfl.nu/b7a5
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (325)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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  (708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (249)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!

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  (+44): Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas! http://tfl.nu/iawo
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (172)

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