I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.