So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
