I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize