ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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