STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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