id be glad to
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?