i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
about cumming, not toast