did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
