how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
