Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
