remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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