Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize