do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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