We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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